Blog 8
There will be Joy
December 26, 2016
As a long time therapist I know well the dangers of what in the field is called a “problem saturated” story. It is a story that is repeated again and again about what is wrong and whose fault it is. We have a Donald Trump problem saturated story. And for today, I am searching for alternative stories that offer possibilities of change and even joy. In a blog comment my friend Jim wrote:
I spoke with my friend Fred yesterday about the surreal experience I have in going to watch my son play basketball games with the other 4th graders. At the back of my mind is something like, "how can I go to a basketball game at a time like this!" Fred's words were quite helpful to me though. He said "You can't take that away from him" in the spirit of preserving some 10-year-old joy no matter what is happening right now in the world. Then Fred, who is doing all kinds of significant work in restorative justice, went on to say that he is starting a novel in January. I asked what is prompting him to engage in a creative act right now, and he said it is arising from the conviction: "I won't let you rob what my soul can produce." This carried me for much of the afternoon.
Then I read the headline that after all “The Rockettes won’t be forced to play trump inauguration. So there is still sanity in the world.
For the past three days we have been celebrating Chanukah and Christmas at the same time. What better time in history could these two holidays come together. I saw wonder as my granddaughter Harper for the first time got that Santa had arrived and at the end of Christmas day celebrations flew into her mother’s lap and said, ’This was a perfect day.” Then the two sons of my daughter’s boyfriend came for Boxing Day brunch, both a bit leery of who we are, and what is expected of them. My daughter had bought a game in which two people put on masks and shoot whipped cream at one another. Somehow the silliness of it all broke any barriers that had existed and we all, even in this new tentative relationship, had a lot of fun.
More seriously, I spoke with my friend Jane and my husband Patrick about my sense of urgency to enjoy life even as I fret about the craziness of our political upheaval. I remember when my first husband Ron,who had ALS, lived on a ventilator at home for seven years. At that time, I rarely found joy ,but somehow, even in his dire situation, he did. I am still learning that lesson today. One way is to allow myself to be enlivened is to take in the love and involvement of many people right now who are resisting what must be resisted. Freedom Concert here we come!
Wise words:
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/23/opinion/red-state-hope-for-democratic-blues.html?ref=opinionDalai Lama Desmond Tutu Joy quotes
Excerpts: The Book of Joy-Lasting Happiness in a changing world
Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu
“I say to people that I’m not an optimist, because that, in a sense, is something that depends on feelings more than the actual reality. We feel optimistic, or we feel pessimistic. Now, hope is different in that it is based not on the ephemerality of feelings but on the firm ground of conviction. I believe with a steadfast faith that there can never be a situation that is utterly, totally hopeless. Hope is deeper and very, very close to unshakable. It’s in the pit of your tummy. It’s not in your head. It’s all here,” he said, pointing to his abdomen.
“There’s a Tibetan saying: ‘Wherever you have friends that’s your country, and wherever you receive love, that’s your home.”
“What is this thing called joy, and how is it possible that it can evoke such a wide range of feelings? How can the experience of joy span from those tears of joy at a birth to an irrepressible belly laugh at a joke to a serenely contented smile during meditation? Joy seems to blanket this entire emotional expanse. Paul Ekman, famed emotions researcher and longtime friend of the Dalai Lama, has written that joy is associated with feelings as varied as: pleasure (of the five senses) amusement (from a chuckle to a belly laugh) contentment (a calmer kind of satisfaction) excitement (in response to novelty or challenge) relief (following upon another emotion, such as fear, anxiety, and even pleasure) wonder (before something astonishing and admirable) ecstasy or bliss (transporting us outside ourselves) exultation (at having accomplished a difficult or daring task) radiant pride (when our children earn a special honor) unhealthy jubilation or schadenfreude (relishing in someone else’s suffering) elevation (from having witnessed an act of kindness, generosity, or compassion) gratitude (the appreciation of a selfless act of which one is the beneficiary)”
“If you live with fear and consider yourself as something special then automatically, emotionally, you are distanced from others. You then create the basis for feelings of alienation from others and loneliness. So, I never consider, even when giving a talk to a large crowd, that I am something special, I am 'His Holiness the Dalai Lama' . . . I always emphasize that when I meet people, we are all the same human beings. A thousand people -- same human being. Ten thousand or a hundred thousand -- same human being -- mentally, emotionally, and physically. Then, you see, no barrier. Then my mind remains completely calm and relaxed. If too much emphasis on myself, and I start to think I'm something special, then more anxiety, more nervousness.”
“The Dead Sea in the Middle East receives fresh water, but it has no outlet, so it doesn't pass the water out. It receives beautiful water from the rivers, and the water goes dank. I mean, it just goes bad. And that's why it is the Dead Sea. It receives and does not give. In the end generosity is the best way of becoming more, more, and more joyful.”
“Suffering is inevitable, they said, but how we respond to that suffering is our choice. Not even oppression or occupation can take away this freedom to choose our response.”
From Jonathan Omer-Man
I found this to be one of the more interesting attempts to understand our new reality, focusing more on "how did we get here" than on "what next."
Trumpism did not begin on November 8, and would still be a looming presence even had he lost the election, as Brexitism was a force irrespective of the results of the referendum, and extreme right-wing forces are ascendant in Europe and elsewhere. This is a global phenomenon, and many of us find ourselves in a world we no longer understand or recognize. Rage, resentment, bigotry, racism, hatred prevail, at home and overseas. What is happening? Old models of political theory are generally unconvincing. What should we do? Economic explanations seem simplistic. Where should we go? The best of punditry is hollow. What should we think?
This profound and provocative article by Pankaz Mishla helped me.
It is long, and sometimes difficult reading, but worth the effort.
Action:
Monica McCormick Sent:
WE ARE ASSEMBLING A LIBRARY OF RESISTANCE
This is a community created, community shared and edited, living document. (It started as a Facebook post & comments .)
Arising conventions: Only titles linked. Last name listed once, multiple titles listed with name.
Links are to main WorldCat record permalink (just check that “world libraries” lists many locations). Authors listed without titles are linked to either a major collection of work (a“Collected works” or comprehensive reader, e.g. Gloria Anzaldua) or if that would insufficiently
represent the scope of their work, to the results of an author search. If WorldCat record is not helpful (does not lead to accessible versions), a link to a web version is OK. (e.g., Anna
Akhmatova’s “Requiem” vocal/symphonic version was available in few libraries, so linked to record company page.) --SR
Slowly but surely, entries are being added to a public WorldCat list and a Goodreads list .
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
A
Abu-Jamal, Mumia We Want Freedom: A Life in the Black Panther Party
Adichie, Chimamanda Ngozi
Agamben, Giorgio State of Exception
Ai (poet)
Akhmatova, Anna Requiem (Vocal/symphonic version, composed by John Tavener)
Albert, Michael and Robin Hahnel, Looking Forward: Participatory Economics in the Twenty
First Century
Alexander, Michelle The New Jim Crow
Aleksievich, Svetlana Secondhand Time: The Last of the Soviets , Voices from Chernobyl
Alinsky, Saul Rules for Radicals
Anthony, Susan B.
Anzaldua, Gloria The Gloria Anzaldúa reader
Apted, Michael Gorillas in the Mist (film)
Arendt, Hannah The Origins of Totalitarianism , The Human Condition , On Humanity in Dark
Times
Aslan, Rezi No god but God: The Origins, Evolution and Future of Islam
Atwood, Margaret The Handmaid's Tale , Oryx and Crake
Auden, W.H. Age of Anxiety
Ayers, Bill Demand the Impossible! A Radical Manifesto
Planned Parenthood Petition to sign:
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